Completely Unmotivated



For the past three weeks I have been completely and utterly unmotivated to do anything worthwhile.  I haven't been doing my habits, or following any of my routines.  I haven't even looked at my list of things to do this month.  I've had ideas for blog posts, but as you can tell, none of them made it into the blogosphere.  I've felt anxious and depressed and angry at my backslide and this has had me frozen in place for weeks now, unable to take that first step back to productiveness.

I'm not exactly sure what lead to this slump in my motivation and diligence to chores.  I've been lucky to pretty much get to follow my own schedule for some time now and haven't had a sense of urgency in completing any of my daily tasks by a certain time.  Up to starting the bartending class, I went about my daily life in a very leisurely way and accomplished things at my own pace.  It was great to get to follow my own schedule, but all I was really doing for myself was reinforcing my tendency to procrastination.  I would get up and take all morning to complete my morning routine instead of trying to get through everything as quickly as possible.  Instead of immediately making my bed every morning, I would get around to making the bed sometime in the afternoon.  I felt good about getting the bed made, but was establishing a bad habit of dilly-dallying through the day and not managing my time well.  My morning routine shouldn't take me half the day to complete!!! One of the main reasons to have a routine is to learn to use my time as efficiently as possible.

Since the beginning of the year, I've made the mistake of letting myself live in a little bubble of convenience I created for myself.  I was achieving some success in establishing better habits for myself, but that success was limited to the bubble I was in.  As soon as I had to pop that bubble and step out into the annoying real world, my habits fell apart.  I've been too lackadaisical about the changes I need to make in order to be the person I know I can be.  It's easy to live in a convenient world.  Unfortunately, the real world isn't as accommodating as I would like it to be.  My real test is maintaining my habits and routines despite the stresses of living in the real world.  I guess it's time to step outside my comfort zone.  I don't have to like it, but I do have to do it.  Reinventing myself is the hardest thing I've ever set out to do.
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Blood and Fire at the Rodeo

Last week there was blood and fire at the rodeo!!!  To be more specific, KISS was the performing act at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo on the 15th, and they rocked the house!!!

KISS


I was never really a KISS fan growing up.  They were at the height of their popularity before I was born and when I was young I was much more into NKOTB (and still am!) than any hard rock band.  But times have changed, and after my first KISS concert back in 2009 I have a new found love and appreciation for this group.  They rock!!!

Gene Simmons

Paul Stanley

Rockin' at the Rodeo

Rotating stage

They played my favorite KISS song, Beth

A tribute to all the men and women serving in the US Armed Forces
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The Importance of Routines

Benjamin Franklin's Daily Routine
courtesy of Daily Routines*


The past two weeks I have been consumed by the bartending class I decided to enroll in.  I knew the class would be time consuming, but I had no idea how much of my day it would take up.  The actual class was only 4 hours a day, but I spent at least that much time making out flashcards and learning drink recipes as well as doing as many massages as I could.  It was a lot to keep up with, and I barely got any housework or errands done on top of it all.

The first week went really well.  I woke up on time, went through my morning routine, made it to class on time, did some massages, made flashcards, studied, and generally kept up with the housework.  The second week, however, was another animal altogether.  I got up late, didn't do the morning routine, was late to class, procrastinated on flashcards and studying, hardly had any clients at all, and didn't do any housework to speak of.  Oy vey!

What happened???  I was doing so well!!!  I know a lot of it had to do with getting up early every morning the last two weeks.  I'm just not built for mornings.  I'm especially not built for lots early mornings in a row.  I just can't handle it.  Even if I get a solid 8 hours of sleep, there's something about waking up early to an alarm that has always left me utterly exhausted for the entire day.  Maybe it's mental, but I've never been able to figure out a solution.  All I know is that if I get to wake up on my own I'm fine, and if an alarm is involved I'll most likely be exhausted the whole day (and not accomplish anything).  And if an alarm is involved, I'll hit the snooze button for at least half an hour before I even realize that the alarm has been going off.  It's definitely a struggle for me to get out of bed in the mornings and still be proactive all day long.  I'm pretty sure this is something I'm going to have to figure out how to do by the time we have a baby.

Which is why following my routines are so important.  Especially now that I'm going to be getting a second job and a whole lot busier, not to mention more tired and probably less motivated (yikes!).  The whole point of having routines and checklists is so I don't get overwhelmed when I have a lot to take care of.  Everything is broken down in easy to follow steps that I can accomplish, one at a time, without having to put a lot of thought into it.  Hopefully, seeing myself accomplish all the things on my checklist will help keep me motivated to do more.  Following my routines the last few months has been really easy because there's not much else I've had to do except follow my routines.  And even then I haven't been great at doing everything.  Good, but not great, and certainly not where I'd like to be.  I'm a little bit worried about how well I'm going to do when I get this second job.  I just have to remind myself that the idea behind having a routine written down is so that I can make sure to do the same thing every morning until it becomes a habit and then I won't have to even think about it, I'll just do it.  I'm sure that will come in handy once we procreate.  I'll just pretend all this is mommy-training.


*photo from Daily Routines
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My Habit: Morning Routine

Image courtesy of Daily Clip Art

This month I plan on focusing on my own habit of doing a daily morning routine to help me get up and get going every day.  One problem I have with accomplishing my to-do's is actually getting started.  I wake up in the morning, have my breakfast and coffee, and then twiddle my thumbs for the rest of the day thinking and not thinking of all the things I need to do.  I get overwhelmed at how many things I need to do and often don't know where to start, so I just don't start.  For the past few mornings, however, I've been roughly following this routine and it's really helped me jump start my day.  I feel much better about myself and haven't had any nagging feelings of guilt for not doing something I was supposed to be doing.

Here's what I'm going to try to do each morning this month:
  • take my temperature
  • weigh myself
  • brush teeth & hair
  • wash & moisturize face
  • swish & swipe bathroom
  • make bed
  • coffee & breakfast
  • take vitamins
  • feed cats
  • empty dish drainer
  • check calendar
  • make daily to-do list
  • balance checkbook
  • check hot spots
  • check email & read blogs
  • get dressed
It may look like a lot of things to accomplish first thing in the morning, but most of them only take a few moments.  I'm not much of a morning person and stay in a fog for at least an hour after I've gotten up, so having everything I need to do written down so I don't have to think very much will be a big help.  Just don't wake me up too early!

*photo courtesy of Daily Clip Art

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Fly Lady's March Habit: Getting Dressed to the Shoes

Nope.
I've decided already that this month's habit of getting dressed to the shoes just isn't for me.  I understand the idea behind getting up and getting fully dressed, all the way down to lace up shoes, every day before starting on your work around the house, I really do.  It's supposed to be a great motivator to get to work and to stay at work.  But as much as I love shoes (and I really, really love shoes), I don't like wearing them in the house.  I'm much more likely to get to work on whatever project I have going on around the house if I don't have to put my shoes on.  They weigh me down and make me feel like not moving.  Ever see a cat with tape on it's paws?  That's kinda how I feel about shoes in the house.  In fact, as a massage therapist, I don't even wear shoes at work.

Yes.


Getting up and getting dressed every day is something I will work on, but to be honest, I'm probably not going to be very good at it.  I like pajamas.  I love pajamas.  There are days when I change out of the pajamas I slept in and into the pajamas I plan on wearing all day.  I have a lot of pajamas and wear a different set every night and it seems silly to me to put something I only wear to sleep in for one night into the dirty clothes the next morning.  They need a little more use before getting put into the dirty pile.  I prefer to get up, have my coffee and breakfast, and immediately get started on what I need to do for the day.  In my pajamas!  If I have to go outside to take the trash out or check the mail I don't mind doing it in my pj's.  I've even worn my pajamas to the grocery store.  Why should I do housework in anything less comfortable than my pajamas?  Of course, I get dressed to go to work, and to make Den happy I don't go to the grocery store in my pajamas anymore, but I see no reason not to wear them as much as I want when I'm at home.

I'll try to make a compromise on this month's habit.  After all, there is a point to getting dressed every morning.  I will try to lay out two outfits every night before I go to bed.  One outfit for cleaning house in, which will probably consist of a track suit or yoga pants and a t-shirt, and another outfit better suited for life outside the house, most likely jeans and a t-shirt or a flowing skirt for doing massages.

Since I don't really like this month's habit, I've decide to come up with my own habit to work on.  Well, it's not exactly my habit, it's another tool from Fly Lady.  She has routines, detailed lists of what to accomplish, to keep her on track during the day.  I've come up with my own routines to help keep me on track.  So this month I will focus on doing my routines, especially my morning routine, every day.  I also plan on focusing on last month's habit of de-cluttering for 15 minutes a day.  I definitely need work on that one!  At least my sink is shiny!
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To Do: March

Thirty-one days, thirty-one days; what can I get done in thirty-one days?  Hopefully I'll be able to get most of the way through this month's to-do list.  In March I plan on looking at my list at least once a week to keep myself motivated instead of doing what I did in February and not look at the list until more than half the month was over.  D'oh!  So, without further ado, my list for this month:

  • get Den's B-day gift
  • bartending classes
  • HAIR!!!
  • create a budget
  • finish the frickin' living room!
  • unpack and put away wedding gifts in kitchen
  • change purses
  • Fly Lady:  Routines! Zones! Habits!
  • organize post tags
  • de-clutter and reorganize office
  • de-clutter and reorganize clothes
  • clean out fridge and pantry
  • clean out truck
  • donate things to Goodwill/Salvation Army
  • sell back books to Half Price Books
  • de-clutter and reorganize kitchen/living room pass through
  • restart c25k program
  • continue healthy eating
  • find a general practitioner and schedule routine checkup
  • find an ob/gyn and schedule routine checkup
  • scrapbook
  • have fun!!!
I'm sure I'll think of things to add to this list, but for now this looks like plenty to keep me busy!
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Bartending School

Image courtesy of Graphics Hunt

Last week I decided I needed a second job.  I brainstormed lots of places I could apply and would probably enjoy working at.  Den and I sat down and talked about all my options and we both decided that I shouldn't get a job that would take up all of my free time.  We agreed that I do indeed need a second job (or at least need to make more money) in order for us to afford a house payment every month, but neither of us wants me to end up stuck at a crappy retail job for the next 15 years, dependent on the income, while we pay off a mortgage.  I'd end up with no life outside work and wouldn't have time to enjoy a new home.  I'd be miserable.

So we put our heads together and realized that bartenders make a decent amount of money.  More money than a retail job would probably bring in, and I wouldn't have to work as many days a week to bring home the money.  Bingo!  Same cash, less hours.  Just what I'm looking for.  But, alas, I have no bartending experience.  I used to be a beer wench at the Texas Renaissance Festival, but that's a little different than mixing drinks for a ton of bar patrons.  The solution?  Texas School of Bartenders.  Sure, I have to pay for the class, but sometimes you have to spend money to make money.  The best part?  They have job placement for those who complete the class.  I'm two weeks away from my second job.  I start class on Monday.

What can I get you to drink?

*photo courtesy of Graphics Hunt
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February Accomplishments

I got a lot more done this month than I thought I actually would.  I gave myself a very long to-do list for such a short month.  I think I had less "bad days" than I did in January, but I still need to really concentrate on staying positive and checking things off my list.  One problem I had this month was not checking what I put on the to-do list.  I made the list and went about half the month before I looked at it a second time.  Maybe in March I'll try to make it a point to look over the list on a weekly or bi-weekly basis to help myself stay on track. 

In February I:
  • researched creative writing class--make this blog more interesting I still need money to sign up for the class, but I looked into it
  • started the couch to 5k program I'm going to re-start the program soon.  I overdid it at first and am going to try again
  • I made time for my friends and family I'm getting better at balancing my time between work, home, and friends & family
  • I organized my sock & underwear drawer
  • I contined my new healthy eating habits
  • Continued blogging!
  • Obtained couch and loveseat for living room
  • Used my Barns & Noble gift card
  • Plucked my eyebrows
  • Figured out auto post
  • Began working on my credit score
  • research possible acting classes again, I need money to sign up for any classes
Some things I didn't accomplish because I ran out of time:
  • follow fly lady's zone work and monthly habit I didn't do any zone work at all this month, and barely did anything with the monthly habit
  • market blog
  • start de-cluttering and reorganizing office
  • start de-cluttering and reorganizing clothes
  • find a general practitioner and schedule routine check up
  • find ob/gyn and schedule routine check up
  • make an epic mixed tape
  • organize jewelry box 
  • make outline of yearly goals to help keep focused on the big picture
  • do at least one thing each month towards each yearly goal
The things I didn't get done because I didn't have the money for them:
  • start saving for acting class tuition
  • plan/save for Den's b-day gift Plan, yes, save, no...
  • get hair did this one is driving me crazy, I really need to get my hair done!
  • finish living room re-do I'm so close to finishing this project--I really only need a coffee table and the room will be 90% done...pics soon!
And last, but not least, the things I didn't do because the timing isn't right:
  • finally call city about permits for massage spa I'm putting off opening my own business until Den and I get approved for a home loan; being a new small business owner makes home loans much harder than being an employee
  • business plan business plan business plan
  • add Twitter to blog sidebar do I really need to microblog right now?  Nope.
  • start sending out my hs/r to casting notices read my post on why I'm waiting
So, that's where I stand with my to-do list for February.  I'm interested to see how well I do for March.  I feel pretty optimistic about how much I'll be able to accomplish this month! 
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